In the early hours of the morning, he wakes up in the grips of an invisible monster. His breathing is shallow and fast. His thoughts run in chaotic circles. Suddenly every noise, every shadow and every thought is a deadly threat. For him it is a sign that something terrible is about to happen to someone close to him! 

The pressure in his head is unbearable, like a heavy storm building up, but one that never breaks. He feels trapped, absolutely trapped. In the fight every moment is a battle to control - control his thoughts, his breathing, his heart and his body. Fear is cunning and sly.

Yet, after what feels like an eternity, he finds a return to the normal beat of his heart and a normal breathing rhythm. Later, as he reports for his daily tasks, the events of the night lie shallow in his memory. In the days that follow, before anchoring in Coega, he remains aware of the tentacles of the fear. These took hold like those of an octopus, blocking his mind and mood.  

The days are spent battling alone, like a person drowning among a thousand people. He does not have the courage to share the feelings with fellow crew-members. He fears that any acknowledgement of his battle would lead to victimisation and that it would, eventually, be a disadvantage to any possible promotion.    

In Coega harbour, on a Thursday afternoon, Danie arrives on the container ship, without any knowledge of each other and also not knowing that God already arranged an appointment between the two. What starts as small talk upon the first meeting, quickly changes into so much more. For the first time the First Officer can share his fears without being afraid of victimisation or stigma. He can tell someone about the monster in the dark. Danie listens with empathy and with God's power the Holy Ghost starts to untangle the octopus' tentacles systematically. It gives the First Officer a chance to breathe and new breath brings new perspective. 

Later, when Danie leaves, the emotional First Officer cannot stop thanking him for being willing to listen. It is not a quick remedy. What Danie could offer will not rectify the situation with a snap of his fingers. His efforts cannot contain the monsters forever, but the love and hope of the Man on the Cross brought new perspectives. It helped a drowning man to surface for air, even for a few moments. In that first deep breath, following total darkness and fear, you see the possibility of survival. To continue on the road, to keep on walking, is the result of that first breath of fresh air. It determines lives.      

The CSO's work is exactly that: to offer support for the men and women working at sea, those people that are away from home for weeks and months. We offer spiritual support and a safe space to share concerns and fear. Please, you can help us, with your donation, to strengthen our hands, allowing us to help these men and women when they need to surface for air.