Carl’s story is bitter-sweet. Looking back at a career spanning decades, there is the sweet of a thousand adventures working at sea, over the length and width of the globe. He could write a book about exploring foreign and exotic destinations across the world, places most of us can only dream about.

 But, the bitter is choleric. He is almost due for a home visit after about nine months at sea. Years of not being there tempered the expectations of his family and it changed him into the uncle that sends a monthly cheque in the mail. His not being there normalised to a situation where he is simply an essential addition to his family and their existence. When he voices this realisation, his face betrays the deep hurt of his own words.   

The sadness of missing a life with his children is overwhelming, now after so many years. This time he will return home to a house where only his wife remains. Their last and third child just left home to start his own life. For years Carl believed that there would be an opportunity to spend more quality time with his family, but it never came. There was always another account to be paid, or an urgent reason why he had to cut short his holiday and return to the ship.

Suddenly, in the twinkling of an eye, the hourglass is empty. Although he has a good relationship with his family, their conversations and chats are based more on duty than pleasure. It is superficial. All know that dad will return to foreign shores in a few days only to return for a blitz visit months later.     

‘If only...’ is the self-recrimination and despair. ‘If I could only sacrifice each adventure for a second chance...’ he wishes. With every sentence the bitter intensifies.

Nico of the CSO listens quietly to Carl’s story. Without judgement or blame, Nico can ask the right questions. He can open the door to other possibilities just a fraction. He can convince him that hope remains, because Nico knows that the Man on the Cross, the Man that gave his life for each of us, gives second chances. Despite Carl’s challenges and self-recrimination, there is a bigger presence with him, to walk with him, comfort him and offer him guidance - if he were to open his heart for this. Nico offers him another perspective to consider for a moment. Sometimes unbelievable new things grow from total hopelessness.  

When they say goodbye, Carl smiles because - also if it is just for a moment - he believes that he had started on a road to healing and self-discovery despite his sadness.  

Our donors give us at the CSO each day an unbelievable chance to listen to the men working at sea and their stories. We can remind them, each day, of the One that always opens other doors - just when we think there is no escape. On behalf of Carl and every man working at sea, we thank you! 

EFT: Christelike Seemansorganisasie. ABSA Bank. Current. 1520-230-226